National Service (Halentine)

Hahaha.... 02/01/11-13/03/11.. My god... the experience of my life...
When I received the letter... My heart shattered like glass...
(PLKN Siri 8 Kump. 1)

Hey, why me? Why not the others?
I felt so sad upon that statement letter that seemed so real and blur at the same time

Yet, I felt nothing on the day my dad, mom, and bro sent me to the camp...How come? I don't know why? Maybe it's just psychological which I can't explain...
Upon arrival...It was 8 p.m.
-Ate dinner
-Registered (Kompeni Delta/Dorm 4/Katil 26)
-Took the necessities (for bed)
-Slept

Indeed my back hurts from the travels I made....1 hr bus travel->2 and 1/2 hours flight->3 hours bus travel to camp
I slept like a baby.
Next day took clothes from Logistik. Hurt my hands badly cause they're heavy+no proper box to fill them in. Not a sign of training.
KL friends... Not bad
Then it occured to me that the camp was cold, as it is situated near banjaran trus madi. Coughed until the last week of it since that day.

08/01/11, Saturday-Love at first sight
To be honest...b4 she approached me... I tot she was the most beautiful amongst the girls... That day was KKJ(Kontrak Kita Janji) Then, she asked for my number...Strangely, I fell for her...I really fell for her... She was very cute... slightly shorter than me...Helen Chong Jin Fong, the name I'll never forget...
Bleep test...I ran 10 stages and 4 mini's...She gave me strength to do it...
She ran 5 and 7... hahaha...
She supported my auditions...Jia you! Tong hua! Kan zhe wo chang ge!
We looked at each other while we ate at Dewan Makan....it was far...She made faces while i'm short sighted... Can't see very well... Was very cute with her tongue stuck out... Sometimes a 'peace' sign...
Then, when my auditions fail...She rarely looks at me anymore...I asked her why she ignored me...She said it was nothing...
Slowly...we got apart...I tried very hard to approach her but she doesn't care...
She said she has a boyfriend, named Liew.
My very first trial to give a poem to a girl on Valentine's (monday)...My Sabahan friends name my valentine "Halentine"
That wednesday, at a Buddha class... I see her close to the guy named Liew Kai Hiung..."Ah xiong, wo ai ni"..My heart broke to pieces...She even scribbled on the poem i gave her
But then, he wasn't her bf, but one that exists out of the camp...
Then, I ignored her...
It seemed like our love story had ended since... she then tries to have me back as her friend... I felt that I don't trust her that much anymore...I critisized every thing she does...Disappointing her each time...
But, I didn't mean to do so...It is my nature that my words are stuck at critical moments...

12/03/11-
Majlis perpisahan...The one thing I hoped was to go out that camp...
I was wrong.
She asked me to have a picture taken with her...I posed like a bad ass boy because I'd gave up on her... She asked me to retake the photo as it was ugly... It didn't happen that night... I hoped that the next day we'll have some better pictures...
That, happened...
I had gave up on her...I really did...I didn't want any more memories...all I want is to head home...
I asked her to take a picture with me...That changed the whole course...
After the photo session, I had to leave for KL
Her smiling face saddened
I tot she was just sad that people had to leave the camp
With friends encouraging me... I hugged her goodbye...The first and yet, the last as well (I'm not sure abt that tho...)
After I hugged her... She cried... looking at me...
Why? Why like that? Does she still love me?
I was speechless... I had loved the girl and my love for her had a reply from her
As I walked... She looks at me again...Crying...
My trip to KL made her sad? Is it the fact that we wouldn't meet again?
Those questions, I want their answers too...
I will miss the girl...with all her smiles....her annoyance...her beautiful looks...Tamparuli girl, would you wait for me someday? Or will u be a possession for the other guy? I love you.